Sometimes I get really sad and hard on myself.

I start to question myself worth.

I hear voices in my head telling me that I am not good enough.

I wonder what does he see in me, and why does he go so hard for me?

Why is he constantly choosing me?

Why do I feel that I want to be alone and just do me?

But as soon as I am alone I overflow with tears and loneliness.

Why am I like this?

Sometimes I think, the best thing for me to do is to stay low, out of the way, and focus.

Spirit, please be my guide! Please be my light in this darkness because sometimes I feel completely lost.

Like I am worth nothing.

I don’t want my worth to be defined by another person… but then you see me yearning to be defined by another person.

I am always clinging to something outside of myself and I hate it.

Why cant I love myself the way I desperately want to be loved?

Why am I constantly looking for myself outside of myself?

I want to put myself FIRST!

I want to love myself so much that I do not care who leaves.

I get really down on myself.

What is my calling? What do I need to do to be happy?

Why must I always question myself? Why can’t I get my shit together?

Why do I get so insecure around certain women?

This entry is going to be called “Why” because I still don’t understand why am I so damaged?

Who did not love me when I was growing up? Who did I yearn for the most?

And how do I heal myself?

If I am a creator, and my voice along with my frequency creates my reality, then I will figure myself out.

Its not easy being this vulnerable.

Xoxo,

Finding Vangie